I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
50% drunk capacity currently
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
