eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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