I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize