Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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