I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize