dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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