3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
