Your dad touched me again.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
