dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
