I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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