Buhtt sex?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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