She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize