I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
