I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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