you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
