We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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