apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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