So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
