Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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