It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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