god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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