I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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