1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
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just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
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the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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