he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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