She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
