"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
