Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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