we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
