dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Randomize
