I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
