yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
