I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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