How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I would ride that face into the sunset
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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