that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize