The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
