if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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