Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
