Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
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I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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