We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
