i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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