It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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