I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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