I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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