I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
