ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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