I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
