I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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