My Higher Power is John Stamos
You can't special order awesome
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
