At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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