I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
