its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
