why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
