i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
