I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize