he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
