What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
