never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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