Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
