he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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