So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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