i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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