I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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